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What to Do When the Holidays Are Sad
- Laura Ellis
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
By: Laura Ellis
Acupuncturist, Practitioner of Oriental Medicine
My heart is often feeling like it's balancing between two (or four) different emotions this time of year. Do you know what I mean?Â
What used to be a purely joyful time of year for me has become a twisting road of heartache, joy, rest, and stress that often feels as fraught as navigating traffic from Ross Park Mall to the Cultural District (hello, Ft. Duquesne Bridge!).Â
As we grow up and start to learn about loss, the holidays become a time when we're confronted with The Way Things Used to Be, sometimes in ways that make our breaths catch and hearts pang. My father died when I was 14, so I felt both the loss of him and the childlike magic of Christmas that I was naturally growing out of in the same year, and those feelings come back every year as we open the Christmas boxes. I have ornaments of each of the pets I've lost over the years and remember them as I decorate my tree. (I need to get one for my cat now, who was killed by a car just two days ago - she was my inspiration for writing this now because sharing grief helps us process it.)
This time of year is sad. AND it's joyful. We see loved ones we forget to call the rest of the year, break out our favorite comforting recipes, and share that magical feeling with the next generation. It's stressful planning our holiday events, remembering everyone on our gift list, fighting commercialism, and straining our wallets. We treasure those moments of quiet rest when we finally manage to sit down with that mug of hot cocoa.
So what do we do with all these different feelings? How do we hold all of these things without getting completely overwhelmed and breaking down at the worst possible time?
As an acupuncturist, I see this kind of overwhelm in my patients all the time. And even if they're coming in for shoulder pain or digestion issues or something that seems unrelated (it's probably not!), here's what I recommend to them:
Provide space. Sometimes we need to box up our feelings to function. That's okay temporarily, but we all need some kind of space to feel those feelings. Find regular space in your schedule: it can be small, like an hour a week or ten minutes every day. Dedicate that space to noticing what you feel: meditate, journal, do yoga, whatever. Just. Feel those feelings.
Regulate the nervous system. If you're chronically stressed, your body will learn to stay in a fight or flight state. Give yourself a one-minute ear massage every morning to help regulate your vagus nerve, helping you to feel less anxious, digest better, sleep better, and function better.
Take the fear out of discomfort. Studies show that you can't learn or heal without some level of discomfort. When a wound heals it itches like crazy, right? Learning to do something new is exhausting, right? When I insert needles into my patients they might feel a quick pinprick and then...deep relaxation. Rejuvenation. Restoration. Discomfort is your body's way of knowing that something is changing, and sometimes that change is beautiful. Accept and embrace the discomfort and pay attention to what feels better or easier afterward.
If and when you find yourself pulled in several different emotional directions this month, I hope you'll think about what I've written and try at least one of these suggestions. If you need a little extra help navigating grief, we can customize a treatment plan including acupuncture and other complementary treatments to restore some peace and bring you back to functionality. Visit us online or call our office to ask about our openings.
I hope you and your family are well and happy this holiday season.
Bridges AOM