Movin’ On

By Janice Lane Palko

By the time you read this, I should be settled in a patio home in Adams Twp. For five years, my husband and I have been seriously thinking about moving to a home that requires less upkeep—no grass cutting, leaf raking, or snow shoveling—and one that is primarily one-floor living. We also wanted to relocate near our children who moved north of Ross Township, where we previously lived. We will now be one-tenth of a mile from my daughter and her family, meaning the grandchildren can walk to see us. We will also be a 10-minute drive from our sons. 

We were in our two-story home for more than 34 years. I moved in eight-months’ pregnant and have moved out a grandmother of four. The process has gone smoothly, nevertheless, if you are considering a similar type of move, I’d advise you to do it sooner rather than later. 

I think there is a sweet spot when it comes to a life change like this. My husband is 71 and I’m 66, and we could have remained in our house for a lot longer as we are still quite able, but moving is a lot of work. If we had waited 10-15 or more years until we were much older when the house has become too difficult to navigate or manage, it would be even more difficult. So, if you are considering such a move, don’t delay.

In the meantime, if you are considering moving, start cleaning out your possessions as soon as possible. I’m quite organized, and when our last kid moved out three years ago, we purged a lot of stuff. But as nature abhors a vacuum, so does an empty shelf. So, more space means the acquisition of more stuff.

We seem to be a repository for things others possessed, like their photos, religious items, and memorabilia, inheriting them from deceased relatives. As I was packing up, it struck me that we spend most of our lives acquiring things and then the last chapters getting rid of them. As someone once told me, “There’s no pockets in shrouds.” Maybe those ascetics who divest themselves of material possessions have it right. 

Probably one of the most surprising and difficult aspects of moving has been dealing with the sense of a chapter closing in our lives. I should have worked for the National Archives as I have numerous bins and boxes of my kids’ school papers, awards, and mementos, and it’s difficult to part with some of that. I have a cedar chest filled with mementos from my life, everything from my Communion dress to penmanship awards and scrapbooks. However, what’s even more difficult is to acknowledge that a wonderful portion of my life is in the past. But as they say, don’t be sad because it’s over, smile because it happened. 

In 1967, Psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe developed the first Social Readjustment Rating Scale of life stressors. They studied more than 5,000 medical patients who were asked to rate the life-changing events they had experienced in the previous two years. The scale was designed to identify possible links between stress and illness. The Holmes Rahe scale rated moving as very stressful. If moving is stressful when you are younger, imagine it is even more so the older you get. 

About a decade ago, the late Joe Bullick, who used to write for this magazine, moved into a condo when he was in his 80s. I remember him coming into the office and advising all of us to move when you are still in charge, and not when you are older and someone is making the decisions for you. I hear you, Joe. Those were wise words.