Food, Glorious Food!

By Janice Lane Palko

My youngest granddaughter when she was a year old was diagnosed with severe food allergies to eggs, tree nuts, and peanuts. It was a real challenge at times, especially when she was a toddler. We purged our house of nuts for fear we would accidentally drop one, she would find it, put it in her mouth, and go into anaphylactic shock. We learned how to use an EpiPen, read labels, and always made food that was “safe” for parties.

Happily, she is now five and has outgrown the allergies, which I didn’t know could occur. What a relief! Recently, when I was babysitting, I asked her if there was a food she has tasted since nothing now is off limits that she hates, and she replied, “That smoking, rubber fish!” This was the smoked salmon that her mom gave her.

We all laughed at her remark, but if you ever want to start a conversation, ask someone what is a food that they despised as a kid. 

I post on social media sometimes, and I once asked, what was a food that you hated growing up as a child? I never got so many passionate replies. Responses ranged from liver and onions to lima beans to cornmeal mush to limburger cheese. 

I don’t know if things are like that as much now, but back when I was growing up most parents made their kids eat whatever was served for dinner. It was the “eat it or wear it” option. There was no other choice or opting for a peanut and butter jelly sandwich. As a result, kids back then got creative getting rid of hated food. I remember dinners at home when I was small and trying to conceal some green beans under the skin of a baked potato. 

Our school lunch at St. Athanasius was a homecooked meal made by the moms of the school kids and did not include kid-friendly foods like pizza and chicken nuggets like today, but menu items like ham sticks, peas, and “seaburgers” warm tuna fish sandwiches. If you didn’t finish your food, the cafeteria lady when you went to clear your tray sent you back to your seat until you ate it. Kids used to drink their milk and hide their veggies and everything else they couldn’t stomach inside the milk carton and then clean their trays. 

I had seven cousins on the Lane side of my family, and often my Grandma Aggie would have all of us over for Sunday dinner. With 11 kids running around her house, no one thought it strange that my one cousin always wanted to eat in the living room. That was until ants invaded one of her overstuffed chairs. My cousin had been stuffing the food he hated down the side of the chair. 

When my twins were in kindergarten, there was a girl named Anna in their class, and her mom told me that they required Anna to eat one bite of a food for every year of her age. We thought that was a good, and I told my son, Chris, that we were instituting the “Anna” rule and that he had to eat five bites of broccoli since he was five. He did and then vomited onto the kitchen table. We dispensed with the “Anna” rule.

Fortunately, I grew up to be a healthy eater, and there’s been a lot of talk about improving our diets and Making America Healthy Again. That’s a great objective, but if kids are kids, they may not take to it. Psst, kids, if you need any advice, I can tell you about how to hide lima beans in your pocket or pretend to cough and spit your food out into a napkin.