Finding Happiness in Our Own Company through Travel

By:  Maura L. Johnson, LCSW, PMH-C

One thing I have always enjoyed is spending time on my own, perhaps in part due to being the eldest child of a larger family. While I have always enjoyed spending time with friends and family, spending the time recharging through quiet time spent reading, shopping, napping, or watching TV has always been valuable to me.

While working in Cranberry Township several years ago, my absolute favorite pastime was going to lunch at Monte Cellos by myself. When I get the chance to visit now, with my exact same order, I wonder if they remember me coming in 3-4 times per week all those years.  Sometimes when I tell people how much I enjoy going out to eat by myself, the responses range from “I could never do that” to “Don’t you worry what people are thinking of you?” And maybe there was a time where that was more of an issue. However, finding ways to be more comfortable alone in public has allowed so much growth, including what has become a new enjoyable pastime: traveling alone.

The idea of traveling alone can feel really overwhelming, especially if it’s unrelated to work or visiting a specific person(s). Sometimes we may delay trips we want to take due to lack of interest from others in joining or finding other reasons besides simply wanting to go there. I often encourage others to start small, by considering activities they may be holding back on closer to home. I often hear “I can’t do that because no one wants to go with me” or concerns how others may view them if they are alone. First, it’s completely valid to feel as though certain activities seem to be more enjoyable when shared with others. However, if something has been on your mind and heart but you’ve been hesitant, try to reflect on what all is holding you back.  What would be the worst thing about going it alone?  What’s the worst thing about a stranger’s thoughts on you being alone? And, most importantly, how might you grow and thrive through trying new things on your own?

My first experience being truly, 100% on my own was my first time to the Pacific Northwest, specifically Portland, Oregon. While the end goal of the trip was to attend a specialized training in perinatal mental health, I built extra time in at the front of the trip for exploration. Two days spent walking the city, touring the International Rose Test Garden, trying new restaurants and coffee shops alone was amazing. The experience of doing what I wanted, when I wanted, helped quell any feelings of loneliness that arose, as well as allowing for me to be truly in the moment. Since that trip, I’ve visited the Pacific Northwest alone again, as well as a handful of other, smaller trips. This September, I’m looking forward to taking it one step further and visiting Europe on my own for several days. Every step we take outside of our comfort zone can help us make moves towards even bigger things. 

Start small, if needed, and build towards enjoying the experiences you desire!