Write a Thank You Note

By Janice Lane Palko

This is the season for giving and receiving gifts, and whether it’s a Hanukkah or Christmas gift, all should be acknowledged with a thank-you. But is a written note necessary in this electronic age of text messages and e-mails? Does a verbal expression of gratitude suffice?

Unless you have an understanding with the giver that they do not expect a formal thank-you in return, a note is the only way to adequately express your gratitude. In my immediate family, we don’t expect or extend written thank-yous for Christmas or birthdays gifts, but I required that my children write notes for gifts they received from people outside the family and for presents received for special occasions such as Communions and graduations.

Gifts received through the mail absolutely require a prompt response. If it’s family and you don’t send written notes, a quick phone call may do the trick, but for any other it’s best to send a note not only to thank the giver but also to let them know that their gift arrived safely. In general, when in doubt, send a note; you can never go wrong with sending a brief, written thank you. It’s always best to err on the side of being too formal rather than too casual. It’s like dressing for a wedding, it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.

If the thought of writing something makes you anxious, start with a rough draft and then write it by hand on a clean sheet of paper or note card. Below are five simple steps to help you make writing a thankyou note easier:

1. Use a formal greeting. Start by using a greeting such as “Dear Aunt Alice,”

2. Say thank you and mention the gift. You don’t have to be flowery or ease into the task by beating around the bush by writing phrases like, “I wanted to thank you” or ‘I’m writing to thank you.” Simply say thank you and mention the gift by name. For example: “Thank you for the box of truffles.” If the gift is money, it’s not proper to mention that or the amount. You simply write something such as “Thank you for your generous gift.”

3. Describe the gift and then personalize it. This is the time to dust off your Thesaurus and drag out those descriptive adjectives. Then after attaching an adjective that describes the gift, personalize how you will use it or why you like it. You can also let your personality shine through. If you’re humorous, allow yourself to be witty on paper. For instance: “They look absolutely scrumptious, and I may have to put them under lock and key to keep the others from devouring them.” However, keep in mind to whom you are addressing the note. You may not want to use the same tone in a note to your boss’s wife thanking her for a lovely dinner as you would with your uncle who just sent you a box of cigars.

What if you don’t like the gift or can’t use it? Don’t dare say so, but don’t lie either. Be creative and discover something positive about the gift about which you can comment. Perhaps you are on a diet and those truffles are the last thing you need. You might say something to the effect of “Dark chocolates are my favorite.” (They are your favorite; you’re just not going to give into the temptation of eating them, but you don’t have to tell Aunt Alice that.)

4. Let the giver know that you value you him or her more than their present. You might write something like: “While these chocolates are sweet, they are not nearly as sweet as having an aunt like you.”

5. Wrap it up. Conclude your note by saying thank you again and by using a closing that feels natural to you such as “With Love, Best Wishes, Warm Regards,” etc. Sign your name and be sure to mail the note.

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